LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL

A personal story of Drug Addiction

I won’t identify myself. I can’t do so for I’ve been shamed, embarrassed, and at times stigmatised.

I was only fourteen when my drug life started. It was my uncle who got me into it. Miraa and Local Brews were what I started with. He always acted like a teenager, more like a friend than an uncle. He was so famous and knew almost all peddlers in Maua, Meru County. (I come from Meru). He died last year after battling Lung Cancer.

I kept it a secret. My parents are so stern. They wanted their children to have a better life. Little did they know the enemy to their children is right there with them. I started acting out like a typical teenage drug addict, stealing and sneaking out at night, but it was all pointless because my parents were so busy all the time and didn’t even notice.

I didn’t pay much attention to my education so I terribly failed in KCPE. My parents were so surprised. They didn’t know the reason as to why. I knew. It was not easy on me. Mind you I was very bright back then. My star was falling.

My parents tried their level best and secured me a slot in Kapsabet High School. Backdoor means. I didn’t Love the struggle they were going to. However, they were too busy to realize what their son had turn into. Poor them.

Fast forward. I finished my Highschool education well. My B+ made my parents sing Praise and Worship songs for three months. They felt so proud. My mom would occasionally place my picture on his WhatsApp Wall, to let the world know her son is smart. I was living in depression. By this time I was doing cigarettes too. I wanted time to fly so that I join University. They say there’s a lot of freedom and fun there.

I didn’t get a chance to join my dream university: JKUAT. I was admitted to Moi University. It didn’t take me long before getting new friends. Friends who match me. Freedom made me explore new thing. I wanted a life full of fun Freedom without discipline is Poison.

My goal in University wasn’t studying…it was getting high. I was falling in a downward spiral towards a point of no return. Over the years, I turned to lots of alcohol and bhang, under a false belief it would allow me to live a happy life. It just made things worse. I had everything, money, a loving family, yet I felt so empty inside. As if I had nothing. I kept saying to myself, I’m going to stop permanently after using this last time. It never happened. There were even moments I had thought of giving up on life.” 

I knew all drug peddlers in Moi University. I was their loyal customer. I didn’t even think of saving. All the money that landed into my wallet found itself into these peddlers. Addiction is a religion I may say.

During my second year of study, I started missing classes. I spent most of my time clubbing and with women. My health was deteriorating. I didn’t seem to be paying attention to it. That’s the time my parents realized something was wrong. I opened up to them. You should have seen the look on their faces. They got me a counselor who’s trying his best to help me.

I regret ever listening to my uncle. May he rest in peace though.

With time I know I’ll be out of this bondage and feel free. I envy those who don’t take drugs. I’m hopeful one day I’ll be like them. I can wear a smile knowing that one day I’ll be ok.

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VIEWS ABOUT DRUG ADDICTION

“Any addiction is viewed as a comfort or as a stress reliever by the addict. Its a sign of one giving up and seeking rest from whatever is disturbing them. Its a culmination of a habit repeated and perfected until it becomes a necessity. If you ask an addict what they need to stop the habit and provide it to them, they redirect the energy they used when pursuing drugs to whatever makes them happy and is productive. Recovering addicts are very hardworking.” Brian from JKUAT

Read more about Drug Addiction from… https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/teen-addiction/